Dragon's Tear: A treatment
by Richie S
Summary: This was supposed to be my magnum opus for Jade Empire fan fiction but I could never write it without sounding hokey. So here is a compromise, I wrote a treatment for the story so here is the basic story without it being ruined by bad writing. Enjoy!


Author's Note: I have had this for a story idea since 2007; I imagined it as a kind of magnum-opus fanfic. Unfortunately I could never write it without it sounding clichéd/hokey, while I am aware that this is fan fiction I feel that my idea is of canon quality and did not want to ruin it by being poorly written. I have finally brought myself to a compromise by writing a treatment I can still get my idea down without ruining it with bad writing. In the reader's imagination it can grow to the great yarn that I imagined.

The Dragon's Tears

By Richie S.

The story starts a few years after the fall of Sun Li, OP ending. Furious Ming and Dawn Star are (happily) married and have started a family. On the anniversary of their former master's defeat one of Lord Lao's infamous gadgets appears on their doorstep, it is what looks like a basket-ball sizes white pearl held in a golden dragon claw. A note attached explains everything, it is called the Dragon's Tear and it is called such that it was created from the tears of the Great Dragon and bolstered with the tears of the other Celestial Dragons such as the Water Dragon and other serpentine deities. As such it also contains some of their divine power. What it does is very unique, it is _not_ a time-machine in the sense that a person can go back but it can change the past or more accurately it can change _reality_. There is a catch, the Dragon's Tear is not omnipotent, it cannot change anything of great significance. I.e. it cannot change Sun Hai's original attack on Dirge because that is of a cosmic significance; it can only change relatively minor things.

Dawn Star and Ming talk things over; they cannot change anything huge, which they equate as anything relating to the events of the game. They surmise that any changes the Dragon's Tear makes will have to be from their life before the pirate attack or after the fall of Sun Li. They are very much satisfied with their life since the fall of Sun Li so they have no desire to change recent things. Before their adventure? They consider things and come up with a singular answer: Gao the Lesser. Ever since he came to Two Rivers he made both their lives miserable, especially Dawn Star's. So they decide on their use of the Dragon's Tear, they wish that Gao the Lesser was not such a jerk but in fact a decent person. The Dragon's Tear turns a blinding shade of white and consumes everything, much like Lao's Furnace in the Imperial City. During the fade Ming passes out and…

…Comes to. He wakes up and he is in bed. It's not his normal bed and he's alone, where is he and where is Dawn Star? He gets up and explores, he is in the Temple at Dirge and he finds a pair of engineers and a flier outside, apparently his personal herald so the Empress could get a hold of him in the event of emergency and vice versa. As he awakens them and asks them what is going on. Thinking that he is joking around the engineers indulge him and in a slightly exaggerated way explain to him everything. He is the lauded Imperial Hero who singlehandedly saved the Empire from the corrupt Brothers Sun and restored Heaven and Earth to balance and settled the restless dead. He has settled home to be near the Water Dragon. He already knows all this and impatiently demands to know of the fate of his companions during his travels.

They rattle off the cast from an OP game, they save Dawn Star for last and then they say a name that makes his ear's perk up, Gao. "Gao?" Ming sounds surprised which in turn surprises the engineers, "yeah one of you best friends you have known since growing up, he, Dawn Star and you were all but inseparable. Ming suddenly starts to feel dizzy, he manages to ask the two engineers to immediately prep the flyer for take-off and the they leave. The dizziness becomes vertigo and Ming manages to stumble off of his feet as the waves of memory wash over him.

Yes Gao, he came to Two Rivers and was a hurting young man. He grew up so close to his father but could not ultimately bring himself to be a heartless leader of the Guild and found himself idolizing the ethics and style of the rogue Sky, who had been a constant thorn in Gao the Greater's side. Overflowing with disappointment he sent his son away to Two Rivers School. With the loss of his beloved father's approval Gao was crushed and limply resigned himself to class at Two Rivers. Sensing another person suffering from rejection Dawn Star approached him for fellowship. Gao realized here was a kindred spirit; he also noticed her rare smile which brought an ever so slight blush to his cheek. Ming soon followed and they found themselves in a friendly rivalry of martial arts mastery as well as friendship. They were soon an inseparable trio. This was put to the test when the Glorious Strategist was found out at Two Rivers.

They shared the journey together and through their bonds they were able to survive. That's when it happened, friendship did blossom into love. Between Gao and Dawn Star. At this point Ming vomits, Dawn Star is no longer his but the wife of his now best friend. His family is now Gao's. Jealousy and anger consume him, how could what was rightfully his be taken from him, how could Dawn Star leave him like that?! He storms out to the flyer and orders to be taken to where Dawn Star and Gao are at. The three leave for the Imperial City where the happy couple resides.

Under the auspices of meditating Ming further ponders his dilemma. As strong as he is he realizes that he has no course of action. Firstly, love is something he cannot control. Secondly he cannot have Dawn Star back by just killing Gao, in fact if she ever realized he harbored animosity towards Gao then she would be forever repelled by him. What he needs is another Dragon's Tear to undo what happened with the first one. He arrives, at his destination, the Imperial City, he thanks the engineers and he walks off "I'm joining them for dinner" he explains. He wanders the city pondering his dilemma, how can he get back what he had? He needs to find Kang, but how?

Eventually he stops at a temple and prays for guidance. He loses track of himself and finds himself in a trance. Kang appears to him, (he is a minor god after all) and explains. Now that Gao has become a major part of the quest to restore the Water Dragon he is now beyond the control of the Tear. Basically he can reform it but it will not be a magical cure-all, he cannot exactly restore things to the way they were before but he can make things close. He warns Ming to choose wisely. Ming immediately comes out of his trance and at his feet he finds another Dragon's Tear and begins carefully composing the phrase of his next wish.

Here is his solution let the series of events with the Ming/Dawn Star/Gao triad play out unaltered until the final battle. When they were in the battle with the Lotus Assassins in the chamber that held the Water Dragon, his followers had occupied the Assassins while he and Chai Ka stormed the throne room. Ming willed that in that battle that Gao would be killed and he would be left to comfort Dawn Star who would eventually fall in love with him. He execute the wish and the Dragon's Tear works with its blinding light and Ming wakes up back home, again he is alone and he wonders were Dawn Star is.

Then he inexplicably begins tearing up and that is when the wave of memory hits him. Gao was indeed killed, dying in the arms of an inconsolable Dawn Star. She went to the very same temple Ming prayed and also found herself in the same trance. Using her psychic powers she was able to enter into a special level of communication with the gods that other mortals could not. On the level she was at she entered into direct bargaining with the Water Dragon and was able to arrange an exchange of her life for Gao's. She got her wish, she joined the Water Dragon in the afterlife and Gao was returned to life. Gao, inconsolable at the loss of the love of his life could not go on without her and committed suicide to be with her. The story ends with Ming collapsing in tears at the same loss that Gao suffered.

Notes: I did not always intend for the ending to be this bleak that just how the story flowed out. I think the critical part of writing is the flashback scenes that show the trio becoming acquainted in Two Rivers and becoming best friends. The key point is that one cannot rely on clichés of either Dawn Star or Gao having a whiny "emo" personality. They need to be fully fleshed out characters that are dealing with issues; not just walking issues in and of themselves. Without that the story falls apart in my opinion, if anyone is up for actually writing this they are have my permission and are more than welcome to try.


End file.
